Families Page 19

  Robert pulled back from Debbie and nodded his head, then wiped down his face.

  Debbie turned to John. “I want to see her.”

  “We’re going to wait for a little while before guests, just to make sure,” John said.

  “Why don’t you come to the house and I’ll fix breakfast,” Vicky invited everyone.

  “I’m not leaving her,” Robert said sternly.

  “Robert, please.” John stepped toward him. “Go and get some rest. I’ll be with Gini.” He gave Debbie a look.

  “Come on, Robert.” She had composed herself. “Let’s go see Robbie and then go home. You need to talk to your daughter. We’ll eat and rest there.”

  Reluctantly, he went with her. She reached back for Kensy to take her hand.

  After they left, John said, “I’m really worried about Robert. He’s definitely not himself. Gini is strong, and he knows that. He needs to calm down, or he’s going to have problems.”

  Robert and Debbie both held Robbie a few minutes, and then the nurse swept him away to take care of all the technicalities.

  In the car, Robert sat behind the steering wheel for a long time. First he just stared, then he put his hands at the top of the steering wheel and laid his forehead on top of them. “Why is this happening? Can’t Gini have just one joyous moment without suffering?”

  Debbie put her hand on his shoulder. “Brain trauma patients have a hard life. The smallest little thing can go so wrong; you know that. Do you agree with John? Was it minimal?”

  “For a normal brain. He’s trying to ease the blow for me, but he forgets I know as much as he does. That’s why he wants to watch her so closely. I want to be with her, but Debbie, I’m tired. I’m so tired of being so happy and then boom, it feels like a boxer hitting me in the jaw, and the happiness is gone. This is all my fault, all my fault. I should never have let her get pregnant again.” He started the car.

  “That wasn’t all your decision, was it?” Debbie asked softly.

  “I don’t know. I wanted another child, Debbie. Don’t I have to be more responsible? I’m the doctor.”

  Debbie didn’t answer because she didn’t know what she thought. Gini had wanted another baby, but Debbie had been scared, thinking it was a bad idea.

  When they pulled into the driveway, Kensy was parking in front. She had a box full of pastries from the pastry shop in the town center.

  Daniel was at the kitchen table with Jessica. He had an app opened on Alyssa’s computer, and they were singing while he played the computer keyboard. Debbie had texted Alyssa to let her know what was going on.

  “Daddy, I have a brother. I have a baby brother.”

  He picked her up and hugged her, trying as hard as he could to hold in his emotions. “Yes, you do, princess. You’re going to think he’s a baby doll, he’s so little.”

  “Mama says to take good care of Robbie. She loves him.”

  The emotions caught Debbie off guard, and Kensy squeezed her shoulders.

  Robert stood steady. “Yep, it’s your job as a big sister to keep him happy.”

  “And feed him and bathe him and play with him.”

  He smiled and rustled her hair. “Exactly. The most important being play with him.”

  The kitchen was full of aromas of pancakes and maple syrup and bacon, cooked by Alyssa.

  For the next couple of hours, Robert constantly looked at his computer hospital app and texted or talked to John to keep up with Gini’s progress. She continued stable and was resting comfortably. He finally gave up and went to bed when he could hardly walk he was so exhausted.

  After Debbie ate, she cleaned up and went back to the hospital. Kensy went with her and sat in the room watching Debbie work her magic.

  Gini was moving everything but her right arm. The sagging in her face was almost gone, and her pupils were equal.

  “Debbie, I have a wonderful son.” Gini was surprised at how easily she could say the words. “I’m so happy I had a son for Robert.”

  But all Debbie heard were garbled sounds.

  “I know Jessica is going to be such a great sister. I can’t wait to go… gag… dey… nume… say…”

  “Baby, don’t try to talk. You’re going to be all right. You need to rest for now.”

  It saddened Kensy to see how Gini was struggling to try to say something and how her hand lay awkwardly against her body. But Debbie was patient and kind, trying to make Gini as comfortable as possible, never wavering with emotion.

  “Are you hungry, baby?”

  “Oh, yes. I think I haven’t eaten for days.”

  Again, it was garbled words. Debbie took a towel and wiped the saliva from Gini’s mouth.

  Gini had her hand on top of Debbie’s. In her mind, she was holding the fork and feeding herself.

  “Who’s the strange lady in the chair?” Gini asked.

  “Baby, don’t try to talk. It will come back to you soon.”

  Robert slept, played with Jessica, and then slept again. He didn’t want to see Gini crippled in a bed; he just didn’t.

  He spent most of the next week at home and most of that time in the master suite with the door closed, only going to the hospital for a couple of hours in the morning and afternoon. He knew Debbie was there taking care of Gini. He had to get himself together before he spent too much time with her. Each of these setbacks was weighing heavy on him and he hated the way he felt. But he knew Gini would pick up on his feelings if he spent too much time with her.

  Debbie was constantly at the hospital, and while Jessica was at a friend’s house, Alyssa was in the infant nursery with Robbie. He was active and healthy.

  After a week, everyone went home. They had gotten Gini up and walking with the aid of a leg brace—her arm hung in a sling at her side. Her steps were slow, with a prominent limp, as she dragged her leg to move forward.

  Gini was happy to be back at what she thought was the condo. She wanted to see the ships in the harbor but could never find the window to look out. In her mind, she walked and talked normally.

  Since Gini and Robbie were at home, Robert spent most of his time working at the hospital. It frustrated Debbie, but she didn’t have time to confront him. Her job was to take care of Gini.

  Each time Gini sat in her recliner, she put her left hand on the white Bible that was always on the table next to the chair. Debbie put the book in her lap one day. Gini fumbled with the pages, pushing them with her left hand.

  When Robert got home, she was asleep with her hand on the open pages. He took it from her and read Matthew 11:28–30.

  Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

  He slowly closed the Bible and held it to his chest, watching her sleep. She looked so peaceful. Why does she have to suffer so? he thought. Why?

  On Saturday a couple of weeks later, Robert and Gini were sitting on the couch. He was watching a seminar on his tablet, and Gini was constantly mumbling something.

  She turned toward Robert. “Bah… de, wah, wah, ghee.”

  “Gini, just stop,” Robert barked. “Please just stop the jabber.”

  Debbie immediately stood from her chair across the room. “Robert, don’t speak to her like that.”

  Robert grabbed Gini up into his arms. “She’s my wife, and this is my house. I’ll do as I please.”

  He got up, carrying Gini, and started to the bedroom. Debbie followed him. She could tell he was almost choking Gini, he was holding her so tight.

  Gini loved when Robert cuddled her. Her favorite time was when they were alone together.

  He sat on the bed, still squeezing Gini.

  “Robert, let go, you’re hurting her.” Debbie grabbed his arm. He looked stunned, not realizing what he was doing, and released his grip.

  Debbie took Gini’s arm and helped her walk out of the room. “You
need to leave, Robert.”

  He followed and slammed the door behind them.

  “Debbie, we should get the family and go to the park,” Gini said in her mind, looking at Debbie. “It’s a nice day.”

  Debbie brushed across Gini’s barely moving lips. “Sweet girl,” she said.

  About an hour later, Robert walked out of the bedroom with his medical bag in one hand and a suitcase in the other.

  “Robert, what are you doing?” Debbie asked.

  He put the bags down and knelt next to Gini’s chair. She turned toward him and smiled with her blue eyes looking into his.

  He put his hand on the side of her face, lowered his head, and let out a long breath, then looked at her again. “Sweetheart, I love you and I always will.” He leaned forward and kissed her, stood up, and took his bags down the hall to Jessica’s room.

  She jumped up into his arms, facing him. “Daddy, I love you.”

  “I love you too, princess. Take good care of your mama and brother.”

  Then he made his way to Robbie’s crib where he was sleeping. Robert gently put his hand on the top of the baby’s head for a moment, then turned, picked up his bags, and went to the garage.

  “Robert, answer me. What are you doing, where are you going?”

  “I’m leaving.” The garage door closed behind him.

  Debbie stood dumbfounded.

  “What just happened?” Alyssa asked, standing next to Debbie.

  “He yelled at Gini, and I told him to leave, but I didn’t mean leave leave; I just wanted him to go somewhere for a while and find his head.”

  It was obvious Gini didn’t understand the gravity of the situation—nor did Debbie, really. Was Robert just hotheaded and having a knee-jerk moment, and he would be back as soon as he cooled down, or did he truly just walk out on his family?

  They all went through the rest of the day, Gini being her sweet self, Jessica playing happily, and Alyssa and Debbie attending to their duties.

  That evening with no word from Robert—even though Debbie had called and texted him several times—the two women sat in the great room after everyone else was in bed.

  “Where do you think Robert went?” Alyssa asked.

  “I’m thinking he’s with Dr. Meyer. John will help straighten him out.”

  “Why is Robert so upset? Gini’s improving daily. She’s getting better.”

  “He blames himself for her stroke, him being selfish and wanting another child, putting her at risk, letting her down. He deeply loves her and is more than ever frightened that he could lose her. He’s a very complex man with extreme emotions that sometimes he has a hard time controlling. But he always figures it out. I know how much he adores his family. He’ll be back tomorrow, I’m sure.”

  Another day was passing by quickly, and still no Robert.

  “Hi, Vicky, this is Debbie. I’m wondering if Robert is with you guys.”

  “Robert? No, I haven’t seen him.” Vicky turned from her phone. “John, do you know where Robert is? …Nope, John said he hasn’t seen him since Thursday. Why, what’s going on?”

  Debbie told her the whole story. “I’m getting worried. He’s been really down since Robbie’s birth, not acting like himself at all. Where do you think he could be?”

  “John and I will get on it and find him.”

  The doorbell rang, and it was Pastor Daniel to see Alyssa. He kissed her on the cheek. “Missed you in church this morning.”

  Alyssa told him what had happened. She didn’t feel she could take the children by herself, and Debbie didn’t want to go.

  “Interesting. When I left the church a few minutes ago, Dr. Young was in the sanctuary.”

  “Did you talk to him?”

  “No, Reverend Gilbert was sitting with him.”

  About four o’clock, John walked into Robert’s office at the hospital. Robert was sitting on the couch with his face in his hands. When he looked up and saw John, he just turned away. Robert was unshaven, his hair not combed, and the clothes he was wearing were crumpled and wrinkled.

  “Robert, come with me.”

  “No!”

  “Vicky is fixing us dinner. Get your things and let’s go. We’ll watch the game.”

  “I don’t want to talk to anyone.”

  “You don’t have to talk. We’ll have some beers, relax, and enjoy the game.”

  After a lot of coaxing, the two men left together, Robert carrying his doctor bag and John the suitcase.

  Vicky decided to let the two men watch the game alone upstairs in the TV room. She made some hot snacks and took them up. She had called Debbie and told her Robert was with them and not to worry.

  Robert stood and said he had to go.

  “No,” John said. “You are staying here for now.”

  “I have to go take a shower,” Robert said.

  “Well, yes, that I’ll let you do.”

  When Robert came back, John announced their team was getting skunked. Robert was standing by the bar at the side of the room.

  “Help yourself,” John said.

  Robert took a small glass and a bottle of bourbon, poured a glassful and downed it. Then he took both to the couch and filled the glass again and set the bottle on the table and sat down. He quickly drank another shot and poured another.

  “Hey, don’t you think you need to slow down?” John said.

  Robert wasn’t much of a drinker. If anything, he slow-sipped fine whiskey and Scotch. It surprised John to see him downing the liquor one glass after another.

  Robert set the full glass on the table and sat back, laying his head on the cushion. The drinks hit him fast since he hadn’t eaten much for two days. It felt good, like his mind had shut down so he didn’t have to think. He didn’t feel the horrible sadness he couldn’t get rid of, and the fear that he’d lost his family forever was subsiding. He sat back up, took one of the warm snacks and ate it, then downed the bourbon once again. Within seconds he jumped up off the couch and ran into the bathroom, just making it before he threw up. He stood over the toilet and gagged and gagged. John had followed him and sat on the guest bed waiting for Robert to come out. When he did, John pulled the covers back, and Robert lay down and fell asleep. John heard him occasionally get up and vomit again.

  Vicky went up to see if they needed anything. “Where’s Robert?”

  “In the guest room. He’s having a rough time. We need to keep an eye on him.”

  After a while, John insisted Robert take a sedative. Once he did, his stomach calmed, and he slept well for a couple of hours.

  He did come down for dinner but went right back upstairs and slept.

  John stayed home until midmorning Monday to make sure Robert was okay. He’d eaten breakfast, but he was still withdrawn and wouldn’t talk to either of them. That evening there was some conversation, and Robert seemed a little more chipper.

  Tuesday John went to work, and Vicky told Robert she was going grocery shopping and would be home in a little while. When she returned, the house was eerily quiet. She looked out front; Robert’s car was gone. She ran to his bedroom; none of his things were there. She quickly called John.

  Robert had just started driving, not knowing where he was going. Nor did he care. He ended up on 95 heading north. When he saw a roadside hotel, he pulled off and checked in. He was so lost in his grief he didn’t know what to do or where to go.

  Jessica had listened to her father and did as much as she could to help with Robbie. She’d patiently hold him on the big round pillow, kissing him and playing with his fingers. Alyssa helped her to hold the bottle correctly so he could get a good flow out of the nipple. Gini sat on the other side of Jessica telling her what a good job she was doing, that she was the best big sister ever. Jessica looked at her mama and smiled proudly.

  Kensy spent a lot of time with Debbie. She pulled together a schedule with some of the church ladies to help at the Young house, mostly so Debbie would rest. Debbie had told her she was in charge of the hous
ehold—always had been—so it was her responsibility to make sure everything was taken care of. Kensy didn’t like that Debbie had that feeling. It was Robert’s house. He should have never put that burden on Debbie.

  By Friday, Debbie was frantic not knowing where Robert had gone. She told John they should call the police. John suggested they give Robert some time to clear his head. If he wasn’t back or in contact with anyone by the following week, they would notify the authorities. John had covered for Robert at the hospital, telling everyone Dr. Young was on paternity leave.

  Gini was glad Robert took a fishing trip. She was eager to hear his stories, like how the big one got away and how he danced in the sand with red toenails. And then when he got home they would cook a fish dinner together in the kitchen.

  Daniel had invited Alyssa out to dinner. Seeing how tired she was, he wanted her to have a relaxing time. But Alyssa could not leave; it would be too much for Debbie if she was gone. So Daniel brought dinner in for everyone.

  Lisa and Lenny came over with their family to help so Alyssa and Daniel could have some alone time. The house was crazy with kids, but it was a fun crazy for Jessica to have her friend Timmy there. Lenny had them out in the backyard racing against each other. Leeanna, Lisa’s daughter, was just learning to walk and jabbered all the time. She’d walk to Debbie and flash a big grin, lunging toward her. It made Debbie laugh seeing the glee in Leeanna’s face and her uneven toothy smile. She’d pick the little girl up, cuddle her close, and give her a quick kiss, then set her back down, turn her toward Lisa, and she’d start her dainty uneven steps back to her mother.

  Kensy’s heart felt warm and happy. Robbie was on one side of her in a bouncy seat on the couch, and Gini was sitting next to her on the other side, Kensy holding her hand. Kensy was pleased to see Debbie enjoying herself. She was so loving and caring.

  Aly and Daniel went up to the balcony off the game room. She told him everyone was worried about Robert.

  He wrapped his arms around her tight. “He’s trying to find his peace.”

  She pulled back a bit. “How do you know?”

  “He’s been at the church every day this week at some time or other asking for God’s guidance.”